I didn't shave. On purpose
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
