if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
