she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
