So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize