I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
