Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
