You really coming over, don't trick.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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