I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
