found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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