i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
