If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dicks are not precious.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
