I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
