I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
