I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
