Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can't put those talents on a resume
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize