i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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