Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
