do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
