I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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