The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
