It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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