My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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