What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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