It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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