epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
