Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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