i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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