Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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