How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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