Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
