You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
