grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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