What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
