If i come over, it means nothing
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
