Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize