He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
