we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
