I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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