Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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