Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
