I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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