I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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