In the future we'll all be gay
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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