Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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