party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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