i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize