why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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