I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
A bitchslap is in order.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
