I'm drive I can fine osifer
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
