Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
