I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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