Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
