I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
