Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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