worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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