God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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