This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
