I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
