pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize