I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
