We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
