You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize