I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
