So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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