i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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