She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
