Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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