This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
