Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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