sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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