I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize