return my video game
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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