Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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