I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
