is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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